QUick replies and stupid passengers...

I did a engine and van job from Canberra to Queanbeyan (5 miles) to turn both the engine and van on the turntable, we had trouble with a set of points from the main to the loop (the yard was being rationalised at the time). Anyway, while waiting for the signal tech to show up, a bloke rocked up at the station to pick up his missus from the coach stop. He wanders over and says G'day, and asks the obvious, "is that really a steam engine?" (the air compressors slowly stroking away and other steamy noises are coming from the engine, fire box doors open etc) to which I reply, yep.

 

At Norden a lady inquires at the ticket office "Can I get off anywhere?" The quick reply was "Only at a Station Madam"

 

At a small standard gauge line, the driver was walking through the train ( BSK+SK), with the guard, checking things were all ok, as it was the first run of the coaches.

At one compartment, he sees a child jumping on newly recovered seat, with parent allowing this abuse...

Too much for the driver, he admonishes the child and tells the parent to keep her child under proper control, or he will throw them off the train, and goes on down the corridor.

Parent then accosts the guard:
"That man has just threatened to throw us off the train. Who the hell does he think he is and what give him the right to talk to my child like that? Does he think he owns the train?"

The guard said simply:
" Actually madam, he does."

 

i got asked once does the train have brakes because they only stop at stations ](*,) because if they see something in the track why dont they stop to witch i explained alot about braking and how they cant just stop #-o

 

Remind me of the scene on the Titfield Thunderbolt with Mr Valentine.

Mr Valentine: "Excuse me sir I'm afraid you have my corner."
Passenger: "Your corner? You think you own the ruddy railway?!"
Mr Valentine: "Yes."

 

Russia or Poland has also been the reply on the odd occassion.

 

Russia or Poland has also been the reply on the odd occassion.[/quote:2myb9xex]

"Over there", pointing to the garden centre where we get ours from. ;-)

Dom

 

Was once waiting for the right away when a very attractive young lady approached the engine and asked us in all innocence " How far do you go?" and a sharp elbow in the ribs was required to stop my fireman saying "As far as you'll let me!" [-X

 

Russia or Poland has also been the reply on the odd occassion.[/quote:1yg61mbi]
A colliery.

 

Haha , sounds like something my fireman would need every now and then at Alton ....

 

Definately sounds like a night on the RAT for some customers!!.... ](*,) ](*,)

 

i can remember one very ammusing episode at Alton ,i was firing on the watercress belle and whilst waiting for our departure time a very drunk man and his very nice wife wandered over to look at the engine, i was setting the lights on the engine ready for the run, his wife looked at me as i possitioned the lamps in the loco and asked, are those the head lights?

another time again at alton i was using the injector when someone asked what i was doing, putting water into the boiler i explained, to make steam , oh,, this oldish man replied it runs on steam them? my driver who had a very dry sence of humour replied, it does when he gets it in the right place!!

 

Well how about this - I was on the RAT one night and I got some stupid drunken fool asking questions on the footplate (Having a browse)
And he got aggressive about not being allowed to stay on the footplate at Alton - Of course the whistle had been blown and i came out with a remark of either get off the footplate now or get thrown off in motion!! Luckily he heard me and chose the best choice of options!! I had to help him down off the footplate of course and help him into the first coach behid the tender!!! You do arf' get em!!!

 

you defenetly do get them, diesel fans are the worse, one day we were roustered on the class 27 , not long after it had entered mid hants service , we had to take the place of a steamer that had failed because of a broken tender spring, anyway as it was a rush job, it was just a driver and myself, ,we arrived at alresford and as we came into the platform we both noticed this person, blowing kisses at us !!!!!!! i looked at my driver who returned my stare, both of us were shocked, we coupled up and the driver went to get the staff and said, do not let him anywhere near the engine, anyway we ran up to alton and sure enough, this person came up to us after we had backed on, he was the strangest person we had ever encountered, he kept on rubbing the painwork as he spoke to us? i was only too glad to hear the guards whistle and see a green flag, luckily by the time we got back to ropley, the engine had been fixed and steamed up and took over the train

 

Many moons ago I was speaking to a MHR driver (Richard Heather if I recall correctly) at Ropley one morning when this older gentleman arrived and started eyeing up the Austerity saddle tank Errol Longsdale which was at the time Longmoor blue, he kept mumbling to himself until he turned and said ‘that engine is in the completely wrong livery you know….’

Richard said ‘errr… well no it’s in the correctly livery for the engine’

'no it isn’t!’ said the old gent…. ‘Completely wrong!’ he continued ‘it should be red, I know I remember these!’

‘Really?’ said Mr H…. the old gent continued ‘it’s a midland engine and they should be red’

A very polite Mr H smiled and said oh “LMR…. I see… no that’s Longmoor Military Railway…. not the London Midland Region…. The LMR painted engines blue I’ll think your find’

The old gent got slightly annoyed and said ‘pfff never heard of that…. It should be red…. I know I was there’ and walked off... as a Police detective I know says ‘never trust 100% anything eye witness tells you even though he was there!

 

Fort William a quite a few years ago; we were just walking down to the subway that leads to the station. Just ahead of us, a chap with his young daughter.

'Ooh look Daddy, you can see the steam, the steam train must be in', she says.

'No dear, maybe not', came the reply, 'That looks like diesel steam to me'.

](*,)

 

About a year ago I wrote an article for the Spa Valley Railway magazine mentioning some of the quotes from passengers- here are a selection from passengers who think we run model/miniature railways -

1. You are not a real railway because you do not run real trains.
2."Are the buffers magnetised so that the carriages are held together by magnetism".
3."Is that the signal box where a man with a big controller operates the trains"
4."Is that metal box between the rails the uncoupling ramp".
5. Father to son-"All the rails have electricity in them".
6."Can my 8 year old son drive the train.? He can operate our model railway."
7."When you buy track does it come in curved or straight sections?"
8. A man comes into the ticket office and said he come to collect the length of rail which he ordered. I asked what transport he had got and he said his Vauxhall Astra was parked in the station car park. He was advised that a length of rail was 60 foot long and weighed a ton so he could neither lift it or would it fit it into his car. He said he would have a rethink and was never seen again..
9."Can you tell me how London Underground get their carriages onto the track? My husband and I were trying to work out how they managed to get the carriages down the escalators and through the subways........!!!!!".
10. Man comes into the Spa Valley Railway station and says " Is there someone here who knows something about trains..?"

If interested I can supply more.....

 

Some people are funny!
But it does anoy me when people say stuff like that.

More please!

 

Part 2--Public complaints (all completely genuine)-

1. "I've just bought a house next to the railway and wish to complain that you are running trains..."
2.Ten minutes after a train had departed on time a passenger complains that the train had left on time....
3.Passenger complains after her train journey that her reserved seat had been double booked and wanted a full refund. A quick investigation with the staff found she had earlier accepted a similiar block of seats in the adjacent coach.
4."My husband works night shifts and sleeps in the daytime. Your trains are keeping him awake".
5."The steam/diesel trains trains are upsetting the horses/dogs/ cats/ children"................... ( Delete words as applicable to suit each complainant).
6."The trains stabled in the sidings are causing bad reception to my radio/TV/mobile phone"................... (Delete words as applicable to suit each complainant).
7."Can you delay the train for 30 minutes because my friend is in Sainsbury's shopping".
8."Can you delay trains for a few hours whilst my washing is drying in the garden. I do not want dirty smuts from your engines."
9."I am going to complain to Railtrack about your trains".
.............(They don't own the land!)
10. I am going to complain to the Council Environmental Health Officer because you are not using real coal".
.............(Were we using plastic coal??)

.. I have a third one on train enquiries if interested...

 

Which reminds me of something I witnessed at Towyn Wharfe some years ago.
We'd just got back from a ride to Abergynolwyn (this was before the extension to Nant Gwernol) and back and were looking admiring the loco when a DMU went past on the Cambrian.
A little voice was heard to say, 'Look daddy, a proper train'.
Daddy went spare!