Ripping yarns from gricers

I hope this thread will not cause any aggro as its intention is to allow us to recall moments from our railway gricing careers that are amusing and /or interesting without overstepping the mark. Along the lines and staying within the boundaries of that, broadcast before the nine o'clock watershed, wonderful Michael Palin and fellow combatants BBC TV series. From which I have adapted the series name.

I am promoted to open his thread as I was going to add the post below to the Irish Mail thread, which awakened a particular memory of my 1960s gricing days. It was something relayed to me soon after the event I hasten to add, I was not present at the time. But I decided it couldn't go onto an active thread about a specific train.

So here you go:

Oh dear, mention of the Irish Mail reminds me of a fellow gricer in the 1960s that we called 'The Squire' - well, because he dressed like one! Thankfully my soon to emerge usual office attire hadn't yet developed or my gricing name would have been 'Scruffy Wedge'.

Back to the Irish Mail. I think The Squire was returning (first class I presume) on it after a hard steam bash, and was woken by a gentleman whose nationality was indicated by the train name. He must also have woken and viewed the arms rests as similar to the sort of divisions used in male toilet facilities. And The Squire had been woken to see what had no doubt once been a very large quantity of Guinness being directed with some force onto an empty seat - but between the look-like-male-toilet-dividers-train-seat-arm-rests, so the error was of course understandable

 

There must be dozens, if not hundreds, of yarns to be told about the various goings on in Woodham's yard but this one is absolutely true - I kid you not. The late Dave Rawlinson had recently bought 5193 and a group of us from Steamport went down to Barry in Rawley's VW campervan to acquire, as was custom, parts from other locos to replace those missing from 5193.
So here we were cutting a vacuum drip valve from under a 28xx with the VW containing the oxy bottles parked close by when we noticed a pair of shiny police boots ...... The conversation went like this:
Copper - "What are you lot doing here?"
Rawley (with Scouse accent) - "Just nicking a few bits of brass off this old steam engine".
Copper - "That's alright then. I saw the van and thought you were camping - we get a lot of trouble from people trying to camp down here you know".
He just wandered off leaving us absolutely speechless.
Ray.

 

Near the end of steam my friend arranged a visit to Merseyside and the driver was wearing steam driver's gear to look like normal railway staff. After visiting Liverpool Sheds we travelled to Birkenhead but as we left the Mersey Tunnel we noted a police car on our tail. After a couple of miles he stopped our car to check our credentials. After providing him with reassurance asto our reasons for coming through the tunnel we asked "Why the stop ?" to which he replied "We thought you were one of the Scouse gangs coming to nick lead from the churches !" Didn't reassure me years later when invited to transfer work from London to Liverpool.

 

Early 1980's. Late one night returning from a day excursion somewhere a mate and I boarded a "Calder Valley" 3 car dmu at Manchester Victoria for Bradford. Shortly after departure we smelled smoke and on investigating saw smoke and what looked like a red glow coming from underneath the floor in the corridor connection. We summoned the guard who had a cursory look, said "It will be ok" and promptly disappeared. By now the DMU was really hammering along and we reasoned that if the whole train ignited the flames would be blown more towards the rear of the train. We moved to the front coach and were followed by a very inebriated soul who apparently had seen us talking to the Guard. This caused him to believe we were employed by the railway and he spent a good while berating us and wanting to know what we were going to do about the fire. We could not reason with him and as he became more incensed there was a real possibility of violence. Luckily ( for us or him?) the train rolled into Rochdale and he staggered off, still shouting nonsense. The train reached Bradford safely and a quick check showed the fire was still smoking and smouldering away. We told a member of station staff as we were leaving who said "oh, another one" and carried on with what he was doing. We went home!

 

As a young 'un, a more modern variation on @Big Al's experience. When I was about 18, I paid a trip to the Ongar branch. Wandering to the front of the train at Ongar, I was beckoned to enter the cab. The experience was a little more "Oh Mr Porter" than of the Underground, including picking up a platelayer en route who was walking along the 4th rail.

 

Basil's Brolly (name changed of course)
Evolution has not served humans well given the numerous occasions where two hands just aren't enough !
One dull wet afternoon on a footbridge in Princes Street gardens a hopeful group were awaiting the departure of Maude on an SRPS special. As the rain came down Basil decided to check his exposure meter, one hand already holding a camera and the other an umbrella. Needless to say the latter was the hand used to hold the exposure meter and with a predictable inevitability the umbrella fell like a parachute to the trackbed below. Its fate seemed guaranteed as a class 47 appeared from the Haymarket direction, but by luck the umbrella had fallen beyond the crossover the loco was routed across. The class 47 stopped beneath our footbridge blocking two of the four running lines while a crew member got out of the cab and started to throw the umbrella back up to the bridge, and after a few attempts succeeded. A bizarre sight for anyone watching.

 

a great idea for a thread Bryan.

The reason my login name is named as it is, refers to my mother frequently thinking I was staying around a friends when I wasn't during my youth! My friend likely told his mother that he was staying at ours to keep things balanced and fair.

Most of my journeys to sheds were unbeknown to my parents and one weekend bash to Scotland stands out and makes me smile still. My mother asking what I'd been doing after a period of "absence" one weekend and I responded glibly that we'd been looking for shunters at Millerhill.

Now given that we lived near Hitchin in Hertfordshire and also that geography was never my mother's strong point, she replied quite calmly that we should be careful travelling to Mill Hill given it's proximity to London and the dangers that might bring. I knew full well that she wouldn't have known where most places we visited were however this memory has stuck.

I'm thinking there is a book lurking in most gricer's memories that would neatly adorn the humour section of most good book shops!

 

With a friend, both of us being BR employees, we managed to get a footplate ride on a rather well-worn BR Standard 5 4-6-0 from Southampton to `Bournemouth. Clattering along through the New Forest the driver turned round and uttered these immortal words to me - "Fall down here, Mate, and you die of starvation before they get to you."

 

Funny I did Epping Ongar with about 3 in the cab and another 3 of us standing in the open doorway to the cab.

 

Back in the eraly 80's there was a train from Temple Meads to St Andrews Rd which then 'disappeared' There was a daily train from North Filton Platform for British Aerospace Staff

I boarded at Redland 'North Filton Platform please' 'OK but keep your head down as we go past the signal box at St Andrews Rd so the Signalman doesn't see you '

We hung right at St Andrews Rd and then over the freight only line via Henbury. There was a wait at Filton before we headed back towards Temple Meads, I got off at Stapleton Road to pick up the next train back to Redland and with an invite from the guard to do it again if I ever wanted to.

 

Back in the early 70s I was awaiting a Victoria Line train with some mates. Train pulled in and driver asked if we wanted a cab ride. For some reason we declined. The next day we were again at Kings Cross awaiting a Victoria Line train and when it pulled in it was the same driver. Again he asked if we wanted a cab ride and this time we accepted. Four of us bundled in via the passenger area and once we sorted ourselves out, he asked if anyone wanted a drive. Quick as a flash I said “yes please” and under instruction I drove the train to Victoria. If only we’d had mobile phones back then and could have videoed the view of the Tube that most people never get to see first hand. Would never happen today of course and I’m sure management wouldn’t have been too impressed back then.

 

I got to know a Tube driver via both travelling on the 01:36 out of the Cross on many occasions and us sharing a hobby interest. I too had a few cab rides on the Hammersmith and City (as was) as a result. Never got to drive one though!

 

As many of you will know, I used to be on the footplate on the MHR, Some of the drivers were also drivers for SWT, and one day, i was just visiting and living in Woking at the time, I caught the train to Alton, took a ride on the line, had a chat with the driver and fireman, who said, you might as well stay up, and they had no third man, so I offered to give the fireman a break, and fired the trip for him, Got off at Alton, crossed to the BR side, and the next EMU came in, Woking bound, and the driver was another of my fellow footplate staff, he then said, come on up Martin, so I got what I assumed was going to be a cab ride, Until he said , right, do the brake test, and Under instruction I drove as far as Farnham, luckily I had had some experience driving the 25, and 33, with this same driver, he remarked I drove better than some of his trainees.

 

Did you do the Lottery as soon as you got off the emu?

 

Some of the younger generation on Nat Pres used to a railway covered by CCTV and imprisoned behind palisade fencing may find it surprising to know what a friendly and open place it was in steam days. They probably all thought we were mad but I’ve had many cups of tea with signalmen and enginemen in the mess at various depots., I learnt to play crib one night at Tebay shed before a footplate ride on now preserved Standard 4 75027 banking a Britannia hauled freight up to Shap Summit. The return run light engine was a frightening experience going back tender first at what seemed to be excessive speed in the pitch dark.
The most memorable trip a mate and I had was in 1967 on Kingmoor Black 5 No 45481 we had been photographing shunting at Skipton in driving rain. Having made up the train the driver invited us up on the footplate to dry out. After chatting for a while he asked if we wanted to go for a ride. We thought he meant up to the end of the yard but he added he couldn’t take us through to Carlisle but would it be OK to drop us off at Appleby! The car was parked at Skipton station on a 20 minute waiting limit that we had already exceeded but who would have passed up an opportunity like that? There were about half a dozen mineral wagons and a brake behind the tender with the timetable set for us to shunt the various limestone sidings up to Blea Moor, most of which were no longer in use, we arrived at the latter place over an hour early. I took pity on the fireman and lent him my coat to go out and climb up on the tender to take water, the wind driven rain was still coming in from the west like a water canon.
He came back with the good news that the signalman had agreed to let us go early. The rain eased as we went over the summit at Ais Gill and hurtled down the otherside at what must have been approaching 60 mph, it must have been an interesting ride for the guard! The driver just sat there stoking his pipe that was making more clag than the engine! Somewhere around Kirkby Stephen there was a bang from the front end, the fireman shouted what the hell was that, or words to that effect. The driver dropped the pipe from his mouth and replied ‘happen somats broke’. On arrival at Appleby he inspected the engine and found a broken spring , a short time later the engine was withdrawn.
I’ve had a few footplate rides, both up north and on Bulleids on the SW mainline but that was the the most memorable. Oh and when we finally got back to Skipton on the afternoon passenger train the car was still there, no parking ticket or clamp. What civilised times they were back then.

 

@Johnb Wonderful days John. It reminds me of my first overnight on a 7-day SR rover in September 1963. I went down on the 01.10 Waterloo - Exeter to Salisbury, then caught the 03.17 Weymouth train, getting of at Wimbourne at 04.17 where I planned to wait for the 05.17 to Eastleigh. Even at that time of the morning the station was manned and the porter, talking to me and and maybe also to the booking office clerk, or it could have been the station master, called out in astonishment "Someone got orf the Lunon train" (London train). Which to them was what the 03.17 Salisbury was as it was a booked connection from the 01.10 Waterloo.

I explained the rail rover bash I was on and was promptly marched across the tracks and up the stairs to the signalbox for the signalman to proudly show me his gleaming signal and points levers etc and to make me a hot and strong cuppa. As time passed I was worried about missing the 04.17, to which the signalman replied that he wouldn't pull the signals off for it to leave until he saw me climb on board - or words to that effect.

Oh what wonderful days . . . . . A country station manned for every train; by people in uniforms who wanted to help. . . .

Bryan B

 

I can’t really contribute personally here, but here is a story from down-under that I came across today: (a case of the wrong kind of hoppers!)


Making news 85 years ago….

Train Delayed. HELD UP BY HOPPERS. Incident Near Yangan. TWO HOURS LATE.

So thick have grasshoppers become in the agricultural areas to the east of Warwick — in some localities they are so numerous that swarms are moving through the country in a solid mass a mile wide and 100 yards deep — that they are causing delays to trains. Yesterday a mixed train from Killarney which usually reaches Warwick in the mid-afternoon was so delayed by the greasy nature of the rails because of the presence of the pest that it reached its destination nearly two hours behind schedule.

Leaving Yangan on time — the train ran into a swarm of grasshoppers on a rise about three-quarters of a mile from the station and the rails became so greasy that the train was unable to negotiate the incline. A return was made to Yangan, where portion of the loading was uncoupled and sweepers were applied to the cowcatcher. The sweepers proved effective, momentarily, but the grasshoppers were so thick that they got under the driving wheels and rendered the attempt abortive. Sand also had been used in an effort to provide sufficient grip for the wheels, but this soon became exhausted, and a fresh supply had to be sent from Warwick by the rail motor, which reached Yangan about 4.30 p.m.

When the train returned to Yangan a second time a further portion of the loading was taken off and after awaiting the arrival of the rail motor the lightened train left on its third attempt, which was successful. The waggons left at Yangan will be brought on to Warwick today.

For several days the railmotor which runs between Killarney and Warwick has been fitted with brushes, and it has been able to negotiate the infested sections of the line with a minimum of delay. Birds are playing their part in efforts to control the pest. For some weeks swarms of starlings have been operating n all districts, and yesterday a flock of ibis about 200 strong was seen on a Swan Creek property. Other smaller flocks were also noticed in the Jingarry and Mt. Sturt districts.

….



Warwick Daily News. Saturday, 20 January 1940.

 

Similar thing happened when I was travelling from Shipley to Ilkley. I was the only passenger in the front car of the dmu - probably the only passenger on the train - and soon after departing Shipley, the driver opened the door and invited me to join him. Needless to say I accepted but we didn’t pick up any itinerant gangers.

 

To follow John's comment of how friendly the railway used to be, that atmosphere lasted some time beyond the end of steam in places.
On 17th May 1980 in the run up to the Rainhill celebrations SLOA had two trains running to move locos to Rainhill involving, 6201, 1000 and 46229.
It promised to be a good day but the weather had been hot and dry. My first photo was planned for near Cuddington where the train turned up with a Class 47 piloting Lizzie.
Being close to Northwich I called into the station to see if there was any information from the booking office, there was and it was that there was a fire risk declared.
Then came the big surprise, I was asked if I wanted to visit the loco shed where a number of locos were already stabled waiting to move on to Bold colliery, who'd say No ?
Within minutes I was conducted along the platform and across the tracks to the shed where I was left with no more the instruction to be careful.
No high-vis, apparently no staff present just me and four steam locos, probably one of my most enjoyable hours photography ever.
It's sad to consider how much has changed in the last 45 years and not all for the better.
Later in the day I saw both SLOA trains at Whalley both piloted, the high spot however was the SRPS move of Maude from Scotland which wasn't behind a diesel.
If I'd know that I'd have been on the S&C but these were pre internet and mobile phone days, some changes at least have advantages.