They did say this...

Ten most asked questions ( yes they do walk amongst us)
1 is that the steering wheel ( big red wheel in cab)
2 how do you make it go ( looks at tender full of water and coal)
3 isn't that hot ( opens Firehole door)
4 how do I open this door ( customer ignores door handle)
5 Can you delay the train, my wife can't make her mind up (Asked at Alton one day)
6 is this the Waterloo train ( asked again at Alton )
7 is it safe to go backwards ( a serious question asked by a customer at Tenterden one day)
8 oh can I drive it ( asked at virtually every railway I guess)
9 how do you get the coal from the tender into the fire( ignores the shovel full of coal poking out from the shovelling plate)
10 Is that one mine ( asked by driver to fireman when you have just done a shovel fry up)
yes all of these at some stage been asked of me during my railway career

 

Passenger standing outside a LMS corridor 3rd with big 3 on each door."Is this first class" "no madam it is third, there is a 3 on the door. First class has a 1 on the door" Passenger "but it has individual rooms - it must be first class" "madam I assure youit is third and you may travel in it with your third class ticket" lady walks away still not convinced

 

Heard today on Braunton's first train on its visit to the WSR:
By senior gentleman in family group: "The engine on our train is called Lord Dooling"
Response from senior lady: "Who was Lord Dooling?"
First speaker: "Must have been the chairman of the Great Western Railway."

 

Riding on the SVR with four people at the table opposite me, two with English accents, two with American accents.
English accent man was pointing out various features to his guests, until we got near Northwood Halt; "That's the aqueduct that carries the water to Birmingham".
American accent man; "Are there many Roman remains around here?".

Not railways, but steam...
At a steam rally I was wearing overalls, so looked to the general public like a steam engine driver. Member of the public pointed at an unattended steam roller and said "Do you know where the driver is?"
"No, but I'm sure he won't be far away".
"Well, he's gone away and left the fire lit".

Neither railways nor steam, but heritage...
At Big Pit for the underground tour, the two older guys handing out the overalls, hard hats and lamps could see I looked like a trouble maker, so they took me to one side and said "The lad who's taking you round the tour, it's his first day today. Ask him lots of questions"
This was too good an opportunity to miss, so all the way round it was "How thick are the ropes on the cage?", "When was the steam winding gear replaced with electric?", "How much coal was sent for export each year?" and so on.
Not surprisingly, by the time we got back and he saw his two mates laughing, he realised he'd been set up.

 

On a late evening Victoria - Horsham - Soton/Bognor service a couple of Christmases ago - We boarded at Clapham, and the usual automated announcement went out: "Welcome to the Southern service to Southampton Central, calling at .... and Horsham where the train will divide. The front four coaches will continue to Southampton Central calling at ..., and the rear four coaches will continue to Bognor Regis calling at ... This is coach 5 of 8"

Now Southern run those announcements as the train approaches each station, while it's stopped, and when it departs - so from Clapham to Horsham we must have heard the calling pattern at least 15 times. Pull into Horsham, and the guard makes another announcement as well, then divides the train. There's then another manual announcement: "If you can hear this, you're in the Bognor Regis train, any passengers for Southampton please leave and walk forwards to the other part", or words to that effect. A couple of minutes later the front portion departs, and the automated announcement "Welcome to the Southern service to Bognor Regis..."

At which point a woman (probably slightly the worse for alcohol) comes storming up to the driver and the member of platform staff, ranting and screaming "I need to go to Southampton, why didn't you tell me that I needed to be in that part"...

 

Overheard fairly recently on the KWVR, it made me smile.

Mum and Dad with young son (aged about 4) on Haworth Station platform...

Mum to son: "Ooh, look - Thomas is coming..."
Son, most indignantly "NO it's NOT Thomas, it's t' Derby 4, everyone knows that" at the top of his voice
Dad looks the other way and starts whistling...
Mum looks for hole in ground to swallow her (or son) up.

Richard.

 

I remember something similar when my son was three. We were waiting at Eden Lacy for No 9 when a fellow photter spoke to him saying, ‘ I bet your excited to see Henry the Green Engine come along here’. Immediate response from son, ‘ don’t be silly Henry is pretend, I’m waiting for an A4 with my Daddy’. A much surprised photter lost for words.

 

HoHoHo, Love it!

Richard.

 

Thanks, I did bring my children up properly!!

 

On the other hand, I wonder if any youngster on seeing 4472 has asked why did they paint Gordon green...???

 

This description of a steam locomotive in the Scottish Highlands and Islands Rough guide amused me. I don't know of any loco built in the 20s that's been used on the Jacobite either.

 

I'm quite shocked to discover that John, although some probably wish I was lol

 

And fit him with those horrid smoke deflectors