Rear Guard

An air raid siren rings out over Kidderminster town station, and a vetran air craft flies low over the valleys or the rivers Severn and Stour, which can mean only one of two things, either its time for my annual week of moving evacuees up the valley, or I have fallen through a time warp and its 1945.
My week's guarding was nearly over before it started, this time thanks to my own stupidity, I slipped over on my kitchen floor on Sunday, damaging my Coxis, apparently not a show stopper, but thank heavens it wasn't a bone or two further up my spine.
So, Monday morning dawned bright and clear (Or bright and sweaty as was closer to the truth), and with any ideas of cycling to Kidderminster, off the cards owing to the broken bone, I swing my car onto the carpark and booked on dead on the stroke of 10 o'clock. Drawing out set of Detonators number KR2, which over the years have become my lucky mascot, looking for them becoming a habit after a throw away remark by a friend of mine.
The loco is already there, as it had to be moved out of the way at Bewdley in the morning, and the easiest place to put it was Kidderminster.
One of the girls who was helping out with the school kids was regretting leaving her coat in the sleeping coach in Bewdley, A quick phone call to Bewdley north signal box ensured the problem woulsd be fixed 11 minutes after leaving Kidderminster.
I met up with Jim Seaton, one of my TTI's.
"Your other TTI, is Trev Tomkins," Said Jim, "I reckon he'll tell you about his 100 mph trip with the deltic last week."
So with 7 LMS coaches weighing in at 211 tons, headed by 1501 in the hands of John Price and fireman Tom Clark, we set off from Kidderminster, late of course!
As I often point out to people, it takes so long to get the school kids on and off you have to assume we will run late, although as we were recovering it by the afternoon, there wasn't much point getting wound up.
We picked up the girls jacket off the Bewdley north signal man, but we set off on a fairly un-eventful trip to Bridgnorth, dropping the kids off at Arley, and away we went.
Arriving at Bridgnorth, we were greated at the Down inner home by someone with a yellow flag, after the south end points had got dammaged a few days earlier, meaning they had to be clipped, and the board would not come off.
Arriving at Hampton loade, heading back up, we had to wait for the down train, which then stopped short with the rear end foul. While we were standing there, one of the station staff pointed out the tail lamp was out. I re-lit this, and returned to the van, by which point we had the road.
Arriving at Kidderminster, I examined the rear end, (The train not my cracked tail bone), and found the tail lamp out again, this time it wouldn't stay alight, so I had a look inside of the vessle. I noticed a brown, jelly like substance round the wick, suggesting a bit of contamination. Taking a quick look inside the tank, I realised that what I had thought was half a tank of fuel with a little bit of water in, was actually half a tank of water contaminated with lamp oil.
After a few words in anglo saxon, I empited out the vessle, re-filled it with parafin, and changed the wick. Strangley, removing the oiley water transformed the lamp's performance.
On my way back to the train, I was greeted by a passenger with the weeks first ge, of a question.
"Excuse me," said the lady, "We traveled down on this side of the train (Pointing at the platform side) and saw all the scenery on this side, which side do we need to travel on to see the scenrey on the other side?"
The temptation to give a smart answer was quickly removed by the ladies companion telling her "not to be sto stupid," at least I wouldn't be the one getting told off now!
Our second round trip ran in rather boring, but perfect fashion, running right time everywhere with nothing extrordinary happening, although John had offered the TTIs a footplate ride from Bewdley to Kidderminster, which Jim accepted, Trev declining his turn, incase i had a problem on the train and needed him, now that is devotion to duty!
Anyway, onto Tuesday, and I would again be kept on my toes.
Once more, the loco was already there and the coaches had been out for a wash, so booking on, once more at 10 a.m., I went off to find John, and get some breakfast.
Having noticed that I had been using a hard backed notebook for my copy of the journal, as I had run out of Ex-BR journals a while ago, handed me the keys to his car, telling me there were some old journal books there.
Rolling into Highley, we passed 7812 on a goods train, not something you see very often these days!
Comming back up, we were held at Bridgnorth owing to the down train being reported as running 15 late, they had pulled the deficit back to 11 minutes by Hampton, but it was still enough to help us.
One of my TTI's was under assesment that trip, and we picked up the head of department, Alan Atkinson, at Hampton Loade.
My other TTI was an Ex guard and we spent a good part of the trip comparing notes and each others thoughts on the job.
I had slipped over again, banging my injured back against the steam heat radiator, and the Anglo saxon was flowing well again.
While at Kidderminster, I took the chance to repair a potentially embarassing defect, the lock on the number two toilet door in number 2300 wasn't working owing to the catch missing the locking plate. Unscrewing the locking plate, shoving half a timetable behind it, and screwing it back on fixed the problem.
As we left Kidderminster, we rolled under Hoo Road bridge, and the brake came in hard. My first reaction was that the board may have gone back, but this was still off, however, there were two people running away from the train (or more likely away from Tom)
Tom's description of events made me smile.
"The fella got over the fence" he said, "But the girl was a bit of a porker and couldn't waddle over it, so had to kick a hole in it to get away."
The trip home was one of those trips that you only get once, not very inspiring to read about but give you a real buzz to do, so bear with me dear reader for a few lines.
Everything about the journey was spot on, the service running exactly to time, and while we had a healthy loading of passengers there were no untoward events, as for my two TTI's, they were in the right place at the right time evey time, I didn't need to blow a whistle to get a response once, as just a look would be enough to see all doors shut and everyone on the train. This truely was perfect run and I was so pleased with my two TTI's, I found their head of department two days later and singled them out for special praise.
There was a moment that did have me in fits of laughter, when we crossed the down train at Hampton Loade, the guards vans stopped dead opposite each other so to save walking to the phone, I shouted to the other guard to "Tell 'im I'm in" or inother words, tell the signalman that my train was complete and my rear end was clear of the other line.
The guard on the otherside, was an Irish chap, also by the name of Tom, and after passing on my tip to the bobby, I told him about my injured back. with true Irish humour, he replied, "Never mind Ian, always accentuate the positive, the ground broke your fall, others may not have been so lucky!"
Wednesday, and we had a change of Loco Crew, Tom and John wanted to get off early that night, to a 1940s party, so while I still had 1501, she was in the hands on Dave Link and Richard Gardner, and for the first time that week, we had to set the coaches back to the blocks,. The advantage of this is that the reserved seats are not so far from the kids, and before anyone tells me the walk would do them good, it helps get them on quicker.
My TTI for the day, Alan Denis, handed me a camera memory card that he had found on the train, which I handed to a member of station staff to try to track down the owner.
Arriving into Bewdley, I turned into the postman, being handed a wad of special traffic notices regaurding the moving of 7802's tender the following day.
Leaving Bridgnorth in the up direction, I gave the tip to Dave, who got the train moving. As the wheels began to turn, it was Alan's sjouts or "No, NO!" that drew my attention to a gentleman, who had walked out from behind the signalbox, opened a door on the moving train, and walked off in the direction he had come from.
Wednesday afternoon passed with boring smoothness, save for crossing an overlenght train at Hampton Loade (the loop there can only accomodate 8 coaches and a loco) where there were three dining coaches on the north end of the train, this meant that the crew could either stop in the normal position, leaving the crossing clear but me blocked in, and only half a public coach on the platform, or run the diners off at the north end, platform 4 public coaches, leaving me free to leave at the south end, but any connecting passengers, (and Alan) trapped on the down platform. Luckily I was aware of where Alan was, so he didn't have to wait for me to come back at 4.28!
Thursday, and once more I booked on at 10 A.M. and drew out the same set of detonatorts, noting that once more, John had brought the loco up early, and was in the canteen having breakfast.
The canteen's gas had been off all week, so this was the first time we were able to have a full English breakfast, the explaination for the lack of gas being disguised as "Part of the war effort."
At Arley, we crossed what looked like the Great Western answer to a Garret, 7812, running tender first hauling 7802's tender, and proviing that anything Flying Scotsman or Bittern can do, a Western loco can do better!
Leaving Arley two minutes late at 2.17 with the up train, we were warned of Kids in the area of Bewdley North "Carrying something heavy." We were then checked at Bewdley North's up Home to warn us of the same. After we had been stood there for the prescribed length of time, Tom went to phone in, only to realise he needed a number 1 key for the phone box, and he didn't have one on him. One was swiftly passed down from the train, and having again been warned of the kids on the line.
I had a fair idea where the kids had been reported to be, as when we began to pass the North end of the Tenbury siding, a jet of water from the slacking pipe came out of the river side of the loco, and headed in the direction of the wagons stabled up there. Tom later admitted that he couldn't see anyone, and it was a precautionary measure.
At Kidderminster, I picked up the post once more, which I am sure is sometimes put on the train woith the sole intention that I will forget it, and leave it on the train for a day or so. One letter in particular caught my eye. It was one of those letters that makes you wonder how the GPO would have managed to deliver it, being adressed "Please put on train, Severn Valley Venturer, 6.35, Bridgnorth," proving that guards have to also be a cross between Postman Pat, and Hurcule Piorot.
The Manor returning to Bewdley held us up at Arley, and then the signalman dropping a token at Hampton Loade delayed us somewhat, much to John's annoyance, not helped when we came back with the up train, and got delayed at Hampton, however, after some swift station stops and some spirtied acceleration, as normal, I was signing off at 18.40
Finally, we came round to Friday, and we would again be kept entertained. We had 5164 today, and we also had two coach parties on top of the kids booked onto the 1140 train, leaving three coaches for the public, one of which was the Brake, and there were a lot of people at the rear of the train for Highley, where we normally stop with the front of the train in the platform, I informed TTI Don Turner that I would have a word with the driver, as the Kids would be getting off at Arley leaving the front two coaches empty, so to help our passengers along a bit , I arranged to have them run off the platform, therefore platforming the coaches that actually had the people for Highley in them.
Runnig into Bewdley, we picked up two canoeists and a collapseable boat, however, I only realised where they had elected to stand when I opened the brake van parcels doors to put on a buggy, and a canoeist came nearly tumbling out.
"I wouldn't lean just there mate," I said helpfully, "These bits move."
Thankfully he saw the funny side, an didn't copy me by landing on his backside!
Arriving in Bridgnorth, john was trying to encourage me to run early in the afternoon, being keen to get off. I pointed out that it would be me that got it in the neck if we dared leave anywhere ahead of time.
Again at Hampton Loade, the down train held us up by 11 minutes, and once more we set about the task of recovering time, made all the harder by setting a passenger down at Country Park halt, and we were still ten minutes late at Arley, when the signlaman missed his token and it landed under the train. Some swift work with the broom out of the van, and Nigel the bus driver assisting, the token was retrived before we set off.
A swift station stop at Bewdley coupled with smart acceleration reduced the delay to just 5 minutes but John was still trying to get me to wind my watch on two minutes, however with my injured back, I wasn't as quick getting back into the van as I normally am, and wasn't keen to have to walk from Arley to Bewdley for example.
The up train delaying us at Bewdley helped my cause, as I could partake in some swift station stops, while John could use the power of the locomotive to accelerate to line speed as quickly as possible.
Turning round at Bridgnorth once more we headed south bound.
At Hampton Loade, I hid in the van to stop John pressuring me into leaving early, while at Highley, I had some elderly passengers to get off, who were not so steady on their feet, even so I had to try to persuade them to slow down, the gentleman with us found it quite funny that the guard was trying to avoid running early!
At Arley, I had an interesting problem, a gentleman coming to me to tell me of some loose uppolstry in 12992 tearing his wifes dress. On examination, there was a small nail sticking out from the seat arm, a problem duely fixed with a toffee hammer (always in residence in my bag, along with a bacho Adjustable spanner and a pen knife). Johns starts were getting more electric as he was desperate to get off early, and while the hard seat in the van was painful to my dammaged coxis, standing up invariably ended up with me banging it on something, so I was in some discomfort and not so quick on my feet, so I dare not move too far from the van.
I hate to think what the language was like on the footplate as we climbed away from Northwood only to get a yellow distant at followed by the banner repeater for Bewdley North's up home being at red. The Home came off as we rolled round the corner towards it, but the Inner home was also on as we approached. To my surprise, rather than getting the road into the up main, we got a yellow for the back road, and as we rolled into Platform three, Bewdley South's homes were firmly against us. I kept my distance from the loco, as I could see John was livid, the light engine had been sent from Kidder, and we were going no where.
5164 is on an extention to her tcket, and it shows, but when we got the road, We trundled across the viaduct (which is subject to a 10 MPH speed restriction and owing to the condition of one arch, we were not going to hammer over it) but once we were clear, John gave her some stick, and the tired old girl dug deep and gave us everything she had.
Asa we got stuck into the climb, Lawrence, the Bewdley north signalman from Monday, who was now off work with an injury, came into the van.
"Bet John's still right time Kidder," I said
"Thats a shame," He replied, "We were hoping to be right time Bewdley."
"We sat there for 5 minutes Lawrence!" I exclaimed.
"I know," he replied, "Harri, Dawn, Jordan and Myself were asleep in a compartment and we missed our stop."
I gave a little (But painful) laugh, if the railway staff get it wrong like that, I suppose the public could be forgiven.
I did my trick of using the ducket windows on the van to see exactly where the loco was in relation to the tunnel, and to see if I could scare the TTIs but not popping the lights on untill the front coach was nearly in the tunnel mouth, but this time no one appeared to notice.
Kidderminster wasn't expecting us so soon as the board was against us as we rattled under Stourport Road, but soon motored off as we approached, we made good progress u the climb under Hoo Road bridge, and Rolled up the main line to come to rest in Platform one one last time.
Time for a quick pint before home, to see if I could numb my pain in the bum!
While my stories come with a "Don't try this at home" note attatched, the SVR, like many railways is short of guards, and my regular week is a huge help to the roster clerk (So he tells me), but if any of you fancy trying to have a go at showing me how it should be done, and becoming a guard or TTI, or Joining John or Tom on the footplate as loco staff, or even standing back as platform staff, and laughing when we get it wrong, why not give our Volunteer liason office a call on 01299 401776 (Hope the plug is ok folks) or if the SVR is too far, I'm sure your local line can also use the help.
Olly

 

You tell a good tale, Ian. I was there with all of that. Send it to Waffler.

All the best,

John

 

was thinking of putting it all in a book one day John

 

I've collated all mine, Ian. I have 30-odd chapters and nearly 100,000 words and not the faintest idea of how to go about getting it published.

 

I might have been the other guard blocking Olly5764 in at Hampton Loade. Loading 9 bogies in a short loop left me foul of the south end. Normally in clear its an exchange of hand signals to the bobby to carry out rule 147, inside and complete. On this occasion it was out with the red flag - line in rear obstructed and the bobby agreed we were blocking by half a coach. We were due to leave first anyway so we got away on time leaving the line clear for the up. Incidentally my guards bag was made to hold three flags. I carry one greem and TWO red, just to be on the safe side.

 

No, the problem was that the diners were on the North end, you were clear but my TTI and any passengers off the down train were stuck on that side.