Basingstoke to Reading

About 1990/91 I left Eastleigh, where I had been a guard, to take up a job as an electric driver at Guildford.
Whilst I was training to be a driver the job was Monday to Friday, 9 to 5, with no rest days or Sundays worked, therefore NO OVERTIME!
As far as my position was concerned, I was in a bit of a limbo. I was still passed as a guard, but rostered as a driver. A quick word with the Waterloo roster clerk informed me that I was still eligible to work as a guard on Sundays, if no other guard was covering the duty.

One Sunday I was given a guards job on the shuttle service from Basingstoke to Reading. At the time I was living in Southampton, so I caught a semi-fast from Southampton, which got to Basingstoke about 1 minute before the Reading was due to leave.
Funny thing was, no one had told the Basingstoke TCS (Train Crew Supervisor) who was going to guard the Reading. So the TCS was waiting by the Reading train to see if someone turned up to run it.
My train from Southampton was about a minute late, so on arrival at Basingstoke I had to run across to the Reading, jump into the faithful old Hampshire DMU, check the doors, and ring the bell to get going.

Now, do you remember that I said I was a Guildford driver?

The TCS ran up to me, as the DMU revved up to leave.
“Where did you come from?” he called to me as we started away.
“Guildford” said I
“Oh” He said and paused.
As we moved faster up the platform, his horrified look as the penny dropped was a picture. “Guildford guards don’t know the Reading road!” he shouted as I shut the door.

On arrival at Reading the Reading TCS was waiting for me. I knew why.
“I’m told you’re a Guildford man,” he said, “And Guildford guards don’t know the Basingstoke to Reading road.”
I explained the situation to him. As an ex Eastleigh guard I DID know the road, but the Basingstoke TCS had asked me where I had come from and innocently I had told him my present depot, which of course was Guildford.
The Reading TCS was up for a laugh. He called over my driver, and between us we arranged to run a minute or so late, and get to Basingstoke with just about enough time for my driver to change ends, and set off again for Reading.

On arrival at Basingstoke the Basingstoke TCS was waiting. My driver changed ends quickly, and the TCS came up to me.
“Did you see the Reading TCS?” He asked.
“Nope,” I lied
The light in front of us was green and it was time to go. I reached up for the bell.
“You told me you were a Guildford guard,” he said, as I rang the bell.
The train started away. “I’m not a Guildford guard” I said.
He looked relieved, until I called back to him, “I’m a Guildford DRIVER!”
I think he was picking his chin off the platform, as I shut the door and went off to Reading.

By the time I got back to Basingstoke, the original TCS had gone off duty. The late shift TCS met me, and I explained the whole thing to him. The early TCS had gone home still panicking. The late man agreed to “somehow forget” to call the early man, or if he did, explain how he had “somehow forgot” to meet me.

To this day I don’t know if the poor man ever found out how a Guildford DRIVER, who was NOT a guard, was ACTING as a guard, on the Reading road, which he supposedly did NOT know!

 

you bad man

 

Brilliant, like your style Matey!